Blogging

Please update your bookmarks to www.patsyterrell.com/blog.htm for my blog. I post almost daily.

I have been posting to multiple blogs for awhile, including this one. However, with the new blogger, multi-blog will not work and the only thing I can find as a backup is qumana and it is not designed well for this. Supposedly that's what it does, but it doesn't do it quickly or easily. It's one of those cases where they've created something *so* user-friendly that it doesn't do it's job well.

So, I'll be posting to www.patsyterrell.com/blog.htm, but will not continue posting here except on rare occasions. So, please update to www.patsyterrell.com/blog.htm.

Home

I have returned home from the weekend at Susan's. (photos and more at www.patsyterrell.com/blog.htm) It was lovely and I got to see my online turned real life friend, Cynthia. We met in real life a year ago when we went to the same tea we went to today.

Tea was lovely, and Susan, Teresa and I were a great trio all weekend. We bonded well.

Susan's friend, Kathleen, wasn't feeling well, so didn't get to enjoy tea, which was a real pity.

We also took time today to drive to Seneca and go to a beautiful Catholic church near there. Pictures will follow soon, but Teresa and I talked until 3 a.m. and then got up before 8, two nights in a row, so it's time for me to get some sleep.

Creative Sisterhood and More

Last night was Creative Sisterhood and it was a really good night. Julie didn't come but did stop by afterwards.

Her daughter and two granddaughters were in a car accident the day before and she was helping out. Fortunately, everyone is OK although her daughter hurt her neck and back. Hopefully it's not a long term problem. The cause of the accident? The other driver was text messaging while driving and ran a stop sign.

We didn't know that when we were having Creative Sisterhood, of course.

It was a really good night. My topic was the cookbook donation, which is a big deal for me. It's odd to be giving away something that has been a huge part of my life for so long. I've always thought about what to do with them when I die, but I'm a long way from dying. But, it's still time to send them to a new home. I need to make room in my life for new things.

In the spirit of such things, I made a new cake last night from a recipe I got out of one of the cookbooks I'm giving away. It's an orange cake. I made seven minute frosting to go on it and it was a big hit. I made five thin cake layers instead of three thick ones - more frosting opportunity that way.



I also got out a variety of cups and saucers. Generally we use mugs, and they do have the virtue of keeping the tea hotter, but it's nice to use china sometimes, too.



Almost everyone knew about the cookbooks because they read it here. Frankly, sometimes I think this blog is part of the reason I sometimes feel distanced from people in my real life - they don't talk to me, they just read the blog. It's flattering and yet troubling at the same time.

I sometimes discover that someone I never would have guessed from my past is reading along, but never emails or phones or mentions it. It's odd. I guess they want to remain incognito, maybe thinking I would be negative toward them. In reality, I have no ill will toward anyone in my past - old friends, lovers, coworkers, bosses, etc. - I would welcome contact from any of them.

I have chosen to live with nothing but positive feelings toward everyone I've crossed paths with. Admittedly, that takes some effort sometimes if you feel someone has really harmed you physically or emotionally. And it always takes a while to move past the hurt when it has been a serious love relationship, but it happens with time. Blissfully, I'm at that place now - a peaceful place - where there's no more hurt to move past with anyone.

I'm often criticized that people can't just "choose" such feelings and I expect too much of people - I heard that just today as a matter of fact. In reality, I'm just talking about my own life, not anyone else's. I have made a choice - and it is a choice - to be positive toward everyone I've had any connection with in this life, even if it was a seemingly negative experience or ending. I'm a pragmatist. There is no benefit to harboring ill feelings toward anyone. The only person who will suffer will be me. So, I choose not to do that. Others can do as they wish, but that is my choice.

One of my life lessons has been the realization that we all do what we gotta do to get by out in the big, bad, world. People are hurt, wounded, insecure, worried, troubled, fill in the negative adjective of your choice. We all make decisions we think weren't the wisest in retrospect, but are the only options we see at the time. We all do things we wouldn't want our best friend to know about. We all make mistakes - sometimes very big mistakes - most of us are just lucky enough to not suffer horrendously for them. We all stumble around, doing the best we can with what's before us, and I've learned that you often don't know what is before other people.

As I am fond of saying, "if you weren't there, you don't know what really happened." You don't know the pressures, the implications or the demands that are made behind closed office doors or bedroom doors or even front doors. Whenever you hear someone's recounting of a situation, it's edited - if only by omission of some facts - sometimes a lot of facts. I've been the victim of such things and I've been the perpetrator of such things - so there you go. No one is perfect. Everyone is doing the best they can do at the time.

One of my life lessons has been to let it go, let it be and let it lie.

How to Decaffeniate Tea Yourself - Easily

I cannot have caffeine, so have learned to decaf tea on my own. Whenever I mention this, people are curious about how to do it. So, I thought I'd share. It's quite easy.

Just brew your tea as normal, but leave it in only 30 seconds. Pour off that water, then pour hot water over your tea and brew as normal. Almost all the caffeine is now down the drain with the first brew that you've thrown out. It's as decaf as the commercially available "decaf" tea.

Bear in mind that you are getting minute amounts of caffeine even in what is labeled "decaf" in the store, and the same is true for what you decaf at home.

In a restaurant you can always ask for another cup and just brew the caffeine away in one cup then but the tea into a fresh cup to brew what you're going to drink. Of course, in tea places they will know, and in some places - like the tea house at the Portland Chinese Garden - they will do it for you. But, if you want to be sure you can always do it yourself.

This weekend I get to go to tea again, and I'm looking so forward to it. If you've read here for awhile you may remember my post from this time last year with the photos from the tea I went to. It's that tea that I'm going to this weekend.

Teresa is going this year, too. Susan has invited us to stay with her at her farm and Cynthia will be joining us for tea. It will be so good to see her again.

I am a huge fan of having tea. It's one of the few times people actually sit, have conversation, and just relax. Rarely a day goes by that I don't have some tea, even if it's just me. I love to use a real teapot and a nice china cup, although I do have some favorite mugs, too. (Scroll down a few entries to see my latest teacup find.)

There is a silent auction and table viewing an hour before tea started. Last year the tables were extraordinary. They're done by different people locally, each with its own theme. Businesses sponsored them and there was a wide variety of designs. I'm sure this year is going to be really neat once again. Here are some pix from last year.

I've had one of those "in constant motion" days but have accomplished a long list of things. I even have everything ready for my board meeting tomorrow. I had to work into the evening to make that happen, but it was worth it. I am going to give myself the luxury of not getting up in the morning until I just wake up. Of course, I will probably wake up early, as I usually do, but I love the idea of it nonetheless.

I was reading the other day that in the near future experts say that we will all work in a way that allows us to seamlessly blend our home and work lives together. I've always wanted to do that and in the last five years I've been able to. I get so much more done for both places than when I have this time for work and this time for personal, etc. My brain just doesn't work effectively that way.

Apparently, neither does anyone else's brain. For those who do jobs they don't have to think about away from work, it's fine to set aside a certain eight hour period for work. But for those of us who need to spend a lot of time creating our jobs, we need the flexibility to blend home and work together.

I'm not sure why it is such a big deal for some companies. Of course, some of the most successful companies have been doing this for years. In the future, those who don't will probably be gone, so it won't be an issue. Naturally, some jobs will never lend themselves to that. Someone has to be on the air at radio stations all the time. Stores have to be open so people know when they can go. We want emergency rooms to be staffed 'round the clock. But for many jobs, it doesn't matter when the tasks get accomplished, as long as they happen on time.



I am starting to feel as though my house is really coming together. Last night I cleaned off the shelf in the kitchen, adding this bottle I found in a box of things from my mom's house. I have no idea what it once held. It's an Anchor Hocking jar and it had a dried cork in the top. I thought it would be perfect for holding a daffodil.

I've started collecting these little vases with the delicate flowers in the last couple of years. I really must find another one because I like odd numbers of things.  I love to put a tiny flower in each one. I don't have much blooming yet, but some grape hyacinths, regular hyacinths, pinks and daffodils, along with some greenery, were enough to give a bright spot in the kitchen.

I love having fresh flowers in the house - even if it's just one stem. I keep trying to grow enough flowers that I can have continual big bunches inside but I'm not sure how many that takes. I don't have anywhere near enough for it yet, though.

Last fall I planted a ton of lily of the valley. It's too early for them yet but I'm so hoping they come up this year. Lily of the Valley is one of my most favorite flowers. One year we were in Paris on May 1 where it's customary to give Lily of the Valley to friends for May Day. Everywhere we went there would be vases of them - on hotel counters, in restaurants, on people's lapels. I fell in love with the custom.

I relayed this story over tea to my friends Pat and Sondra when I got back. The next year, on May 1, Sondra showed up at my door with a bunch of Lily of the Valley from her yard. I was so touched. I've wanted to plant some ever since. Finally last year I got around to it. I hope they "took" and that they pop their little heads up this year.

On another topic - sorry, my brain is in high gear and I need to wear it out a bit so I can sleep soon - as I was going through cookbooks the other night I ran across one that features recipes of Puerto Rico. I flipped through it and spotted a recipe for tostones, which I loved when I was there in the summer of 2005. Tostones are made with plantains, something I developed a real taste for in Honduras.

I remember being in Santiago, Guatemala, and there were these huge piles of plantains, fresh picked, at a stand. They were being bought and cooked in a restaurant a few doors down the hill. Needless to say, the ones I buy at Wal-Mart are not nearly as good as those were, but I do like to buy them occasionally.

I cook them, just sliced, in some butter with a little cinnamon sugar sprinkled on. In fact, I cooked some earlier this week. I was thinking about doing a "food porn" post when I took the pic, but that hasn't happened yet and probably won't. I held on to that cookbook so maybe I'll make some tostones soon. We'll see how complex they are to make.

In the US we have gotten so far removed from food. Ironic considering how much is grown here, but we buy it at the grocery store, after it has been through many hands, instead of just getting it more directly from the source. One of the things I love about travelling in the developing world is how incredibly good the fruit and vegetables are.

When I was coming back from Egypt I had two oranges in my backpack. I had met this man in the Cairo airport who I'd just hit it off with and we ended up sitting together on the plane, talking for much of the 11 hour flight. At one point I peeled an orange and offered him some. He said, "Oh, gosh, I can't take that - they're so good - you should eat it." I laughed and said, "I've got two - I'll share." He got the joke - that I might not have shared if I'd only had one. These oranges, picked off the trees right there, were amazing - big, sweet, juicy. We were both lamenting the fact that we couldn't share them with loved ones here but, of course, any fruit is confiscated when you come back into the US in case it has some sort of bug on it. In fact, they even burn the trash from international flights to avoid such things.

I'm not sure why we can't have "real" food in the US. I'm thankful I can buy fruit year 'round and such, but I would like to have food fresh from the ground on occasion. I was thinking about this tonight when I was buying bagged spinach, boxed pine nuts, and a portabello mushroom in a styrofoam tray so I can make more of my favorite salad. It has been my standard dinner lately. I'm thankful I can have that in March, when spinach isn't growing in Kansas. But it would be nice if I could just buy it fresh when it is in season here. But, I doubt I'll be able to. That seems screwed up.

I go to the farmer's market, but even then some of that isn't being grown by those people - it's being grown elsewhere and brought in to sell. Of course, some of it is local and it's pretty easy to tell which here. I'm looking forward to that.

I will also plant some basic things myself. I noticed a couple of days ago that my parsley and oregano are coming up. I hope the lavendar comes back too. We'll see. I want to make sure I get some basil and tomatoes in. I put in two basil plants last year and that was a lot of basil but I think I'll put in three this year. I discovered it's something very easy to give away, and I do like to make pesto.

It will also be good to have mint tea. I noticed the mint is coming up in the front. It may be "invasive" to some, but it's just "hardy" to me.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I'm really feeling the need for some serious "newness" in my life these days. It seems my life is turning into a series of days that are more alike than not. Of course, I find joy in the daily bits of life, too, but I am a person who needs some continual "newness."

My usual way to get that is to travel. When you're in a place with which you're not familiar you're instantly getting newness. I think it's also a case of you being more open to new things when you're in that environment.

Unfortunately, I seem to find it difficult to get that feeling of newness in the US anymore. I keep trying, but every town seems to be the same - Starbucks on one corner, Walgreens on the other, Walmart on the edge of town, not too far from Target, Applebees nearby. Pop by the Office Max/Depot and stop by McDonald's. It's as if there's a formula for how towns are supposed to look and everyone is falling into line. I long for something different, something distinct, something unique.

The one thing I can get that sense about in the US is nature. I just got the information about the artist's retreat I went on last year and I desperately want to do that again - spend a week in a cabin in the woods. It was an amazing experience for me - not exactly life-changing - but pretty darned close to it. It's in mid-May this year, which is about the same time it was last year. I loved that experience, even though I didn't have running water, which still amuses my family that I could manage. I have a reputation - I think somewhat undeserved - of being "prissy." (Maybe I shouldn't post this when you can scroll down a few posts and see a photo of my painted toes and a toe ring.)

It's the weekend and part of me just wants to take off tomorrow and do something different, but I'm not even sure that that would be. And another part of me knows I should work on my house. I'm so ready for my house to be DONE. I'm getting close but I just run out of energy to stay focused on it.

I've been boxing up cookbooks and it has been fun to be reminded of some of them. I have three boxes full and another stack pulled ready to be boxed up. Once I go through them this first time I'm going to take those to the university and get them out of the house. I think that will inspire me to work on the books more. Now that they'll all be out on the shelves in the library, I'll be able to get an instant sense of wether or not I'm using them. So, when I go through them again it will be easier to pull things again. It has been so long since I've seen some of these books that they seem new again. I have to live with them a bit to see if they belong with me awhile longer or not.

I'm also feeling the need for some more friends in my life. Teresa and Greg are about the only people I know who will do things spur of the moment. I love that about both of them, but when they're both gone - as they were a few days ago - I can feel that lack in my life.

Numerous friendships in my life seem to be requiring a tremendous amount of effort from me to keep them going lately. I'm tired of it so I'm quitting. I need to put that energy into finding new friends instead of trying to maintain these friendships that are obviously waning, for whatever reason. Nothing has changed on my end, but when people don't return your phone calls, or answer emails, or try to get together for lunch or something else for months, they are telling you that they are no longer interested in a friendship. To not listen is foolish. It's a complete waste of time to continue to put energy into those relationships, so I need to move on. It's always sad, but one must keep a dose of reality, even in emotional matters.